Why is it So Hard to Let Go?
I think everyone knows when they hear “my precious” it refers to the famous ring in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings.
We laugh. We impersonate, and we believe that the level of obsession and identity that Gollum has for that ring does not apply to us.
Except it does.
Think about the meeting you know you shouldn’t be facilitating but you still do.
Think about the asks for help that are from two jobs ago.
Think about the actual work you’re doing that maybe shouldn’t be yours.
How much of that are you holding onto like Gollum holds onto his ring?
Just like Gollum, the real question isn’t the what, it’s the why.
Why do smart, capable, responsible people like you hold onto something, even when it no longer serves you?
Sometimes it’s control. Sometimes it’s identity. Sometimes it’s competence. Sometimes it’s loyalty. Sometimes it’s habit. And sometimes it’s fear that if you stop doing the things that made you valuable initially, you might stop being valuable.
But sometimes…. it’s because no one ever helped you figure out what should come off your plate and where the heck it’s supposed to go!
That’s really the key. Most leaders came up through the ranks just the way you are. They held onto things for too long; and they did it because there was no one else. And now these lovely, good people are leading you in the same way.
That doesn’t mean it’s good leadership. But it’s a very explainable cycle. And if you’re living in that cycle, it’s going to be up to you to figure out what moves, and when.
The easiest way to think about what needs to move is to pass it through three easy tests:
- How much of this work genuinely requires your Expertise?
- How much of this work requires your Authority?
- How much of this work benefits meaningfully from your Attention?
As you review your work, if the answer isn’t “yes” to one of these, there is a good chance it’s not value-add work – for you, as a leader.
And that’s when you can start making intentional decisions about what you keep, delegate, teach others to do, defer, or just plain stop.
To learn more about what you should—or shouldn’t—let go, Creative Operations Group now offers a quick and easy at-home coaching tool to help you figure out what you should keep doing and what it’s time to let go of: Leadership Mechanism | Capacity ($29).